Its had been a while i did not post any blog...
But i was able to read the blog of a "friend". This friend was once someone who is very important to me...
Unfortunately, i had lost this precious friend.. I dunno why this friend hated me so deep...
Is it because i had hurt this friend so deeply that this friend no longer wishes to have any relationship with me..
Sometimes i really feel myself so stupid that i will still care for this friend, look at the blog, friendster that belongs to this friend almost every time when im free
Even i know this friend hated me so much.. This friends seems to have a wonderful life now without me...
I know many people might feel im cruel, fake or even evil to treat this friends in this way...
But i had never regret bout it.. At least i know that this friend had carry on...
Last week i had read one of the blog of this friend.. i can feel that this friend scolding me in the most cruel way and even insult me..
This friend say a lot about how fake i am? how evil i am?
during that time my tears really fall down in front of collegue cox i really dun understand why a person that once loves a person can turn out to be that way..
That time i know how much this friend hated me.. At that time only i realized how love can turn into hated., how hate can blind a person's eyes on all the goodness or sacrifice that the persons had once done... When a person is full of anger, hatred and being revengeful, all the things that he or she see are just those badness within the person...
4 years love= lifetime hatred+revenge
Not worth at all
But if this friend is happy
I AM WILLING TO ACCEPT ALL THE BAD COMMENT N INSULTATION FROM THIS FRIEND
Not that i admit i am wrong but it is because this what this friend wishes to do..
If "friend" you were reading this blog...
Please do remember my heart is open to accept you as my friend again when u r ready
Remember that when u were to see me please say "hi"
this is what we promise each other before
remember?
Please do understand that it had been a tough time to me too..
Just you never use your heart to feel how tough it had been to me..
4 years ..
and yet you feel that i am fake
sometimes i really wonder r u forgetting all the memories that we once had..
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4 YEAR EMM QUITE LONG ALSO
ReplyDeleteya..hee.. but past already lo
ReplyDeletestay strong pm.. as we both know the relationship could not last for forever. I truely and fully understand the reasons behind on why you did it that way.However, things did not turn out well... love turn into hatred is something i definitely do not wish to see but i think the 'friend' will understand it someday. Give that 'friend' sometime. I am still here for you. =) we are buddies remember? The happy moments and gloomy days we've been through. You will pull through this time too... just let the 'friend' to try to pull herself out from the past memories.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for understanding me esther.. i almost wanna cry when i read ur comment.. dunno y.. hee.. the "friend" sure will say i fake again if this "friend" were to read my blog.. but i dun think "the friend" will do so cox "the friend hate me so much... i really dun und why cant we be fren like others... how is "the friend"? i really wishes to ask this by my self..
ReplyDeletei only able to see "this friend" through blog.. if can help me take care her la.. but i know "this friend's life is juzt doing great without me..'
I believed this "friend" is not what you thinking or expected. Sometimes, "this friend" don’t do anything does not mean this "friend" hated you. but just let it be will be da best way for both of you. im sure, you are still a friend of "this friend". Perhaps as time goes, memories faded, and people will grew mature indirectly. Different people have different type of way in handling personal tasks and feelings as well, i think this "friend" move on in da most happy way that is why this "friend" able to stand up once again and relieved from all past in such a short period. Alongside, in my own scrutiny, both of you is just having a perfect life now; well this is very good...
ReplyDeleteI do hope you and the "friend" able to be great frens again. I somehow could feel that there's still a really strong bond between the both of you. The true fren bond. Time is the element that both of you may need. I do believe that we somehow will get to come out to yam cha and have heart-to-heart talk in the future. The 3 of us. =)I support you PM. I support you too, "Friend".
ReplyDelete"this friends"
ReplyDeleteYou mean a lot to me... Just u never notice how much i care about as my fren... u already so mature that i am happy for it... I believe we really had a strong bond..
Can we be friend again? i really need you in my life but i know we still need time... tell me when u are ready..
okay?